I have these friends. They are wonderful, awesome, funny, sarcastic, sardonic, strange, smart, curious…what else? Oh, mine. They are my friends. And I love them.
Today has been a particularly horrendous day. This is the kind of day that should have been drowned at birth. This is the kind of day you toss back in the lake…or use as bait for something bigger. Today is the kind of day where—even if you’re atheist—you find yourself looking up and screaming, WHAT FRESH HELL IS THIS? WHO ORDERED THIS SHIT? THIS IS NOT WHAT I ORDERED! I WANTED GUACOMOLE!! WHERE ARE MY AVOCADOS, HUH?
(By the way: A friend said to me, you know, maybe you could try to write something and take your mind off more pressing issues for a minute. I said I’d been thinking that just writing a little crap like, oh, about avocados might help. And he, because he’s just got a way with words, says, “Mmmmm…guac.” Then he follows it up with how “unfair that is to the tasty avocado that it’s instantly associated with guacamole. And further, while tasty, the avocado can be so many more things like…like…well, there has to be other stuff.” I have the coolest friends.)
And because I’m a girl who enjoys a little Facebook stalking in my free time, I noticed that there were a lot of us having really crappy days. Flat tires, vacation problems, burned food, noisy children, such like. I like to think we’re in the crappy day together. Really go on, make it a terrible day for all of us and then maybe we can start inching toward stasis and something good happens. Like I get guacamole.
Either that, or we’re storming something, bitches.
So, because I believe that after Xanax, Tums, and Motrin, laughter is the best medicine, I’m posting some things that make me giggle. I hope they work for you.