An Open Letter to PetSmart

5 Apr

(Note: If you read my other blog, you have been introduced to the Collins family. They are, um, what’s the word? Crazy? But like a good crazy. Laura Collins and I go waaaaay back, and I’ve really enjoyed reconnecting with her the past couple of years. She now is mom to four adorable kids. Although, she was quiet there for a few weeks and I thought she’d spawned again. Because that’s what happened the last time I didn’t hear from her for a while. Ladies, let a sister know if you’re gestating, okay? Anyway, the Collins family has a couple of pets: Bootsy Collins and George Clinton. The other day, Laura et al had a little adventure at a Central Mississippi PetSmart. She wanted to thank the PetSmart team. So because the story is so damn funny, I wanted to give her a forum.)

 

Dear PetSmart,

Thank you for saving my little parvo- positive rescue pup (George Clinton). And PetSmart vet, thank you for dog dancing with my Great Dane (Bootsy Collins). He so enjoyed the way you sang to him while he rested his jowls on your head. I apologize to the crowd that gathered. Bootsy didn’t mean to have explosive diarrhea all over you. He was nervous.

Mostly, I apologize to the little Yorkie who took the brunt of the explosion. You must have been so frightened when you ran around PetSmart with your owner running behind you screaming, “Come back, Yaya! You covered in boo boo!”  Thank you so much, vet staff for cleaning up the mess. Truly, you were on it like Aerosmith’s road crew.

Especially the part when you got my toddler out of the examination room he had locked himself in during the fray. I had no idea he could walk while in the stroller. My bad. Oh, and thanks for all that hand sanitizer.

The toddler sure did have fun throwing the poop rags while I paid the bill. I didn’t know you could effectively wash a child at the Oops Station.

And most of all, thanks for having us back. See you Monday for the follow up visit!

Sincerely,

The Collins Family

 

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