An Astounding Discovery

I’m writing a longer piece about the Occupy Wall Street Movement for Another Publication, but I wanted to share an astounding conclusion to which I have come.

I’ve spent the better part of this morning trolling the interwebz for information on the Occupy Movement (I have unilaterally decided “Movement” must be capitalized in order for democracy among words within the Occupy Movement to flourish) and I have come to this conclusion: There is a reason we are a republic, not a pure democracy, and that reason is the lack of public address systems in colonial America.

The Occupy Movment seems to spend an awful lot of time yelling MIC CHECK! at each other. I imagine the founding fathers had the same issue. I have no data to back up this claim, but I have a feeling the reason more people don’t know the name Button Gwinnett is because he was an Early American Whisperer. Because his husky early-Georgia whisper could not awaken the rebel beast in his fellow founders’ breasts, the job was passed on to the likes of Hamilton and Jefferson, two well-known Loud Talkers. They saw early on that to preserve their young country, they were going to have to elect men to talk for those Early American Whisperers. Hence, a republic.

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Noel Holston says:

    Many of our founders were scared to death of pure democracy? Yes, they were. And with good reason. Say what you will about our hapless leadership, but most U.S. citizens are even more unqualified to be in Congress than the current members. And now please excuse me while I go take two advil.

  2. CJ says:

    According to a program I saw on History Channel a year or so ago, when it came to government, our founders looked more to Sparta than Athens. it also mentioned Thomas Jefferson inquiring why the Senate was needed. George Washington’s reported reply was, ‘You do not drink hot coffee with out blowing on it do you?” Frankly, I feel many of our founders were scared to death of pure democracy, more so after seeing what happened in the French Revolution.

Just spit it out, already!

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