I’ve spent the better part of this morning trolling the interwebz for information on the Occupy Movement (I have unilaterally decided “Movement” must be capitalized in order for democracy among words within the Occupy Movement to flourish) and I have come to this conclusion: There is a reason we are a republic, not a pure democracy, and that reason is the lack of public address systems in colonial America.
The Occupy Movment seems to spend an awful lot of time yelling MIC CHECK! at each other. I imagine the founding fathers had the same issue. I have no data to back up this claim, but I have a feeling the reason more people don’t know the name Button Gwinnett is because he was an Early American Whisperer. Because his husky early-Georgia whisper could not awaken the rebel beast in his fellow founders’ breasts, the job was passed on to the likes of Hamilton and Jefferson, two well-known Loud Talkers. They saw early on that to preserve their young country, they were going to have to elect men to talk for those Early American Whisperers. Hence, a republic.