Politics Most Fowl

I know everything is political. I get it. Shoes, makeup, the kind of bags you haul groceries in are all indicative of exactly how black your soul is. And now? Your choice of fast food chicken tells me how you feel about teh gayz. That’s right. If you eat at Chick-fil-a, you’re a gay-hating, gun-toting, Bible-thumping troglodyte. If you don’t eat there, you’re a homo-lovin’, granola-crunching, atheist communist. AND THERE IS NO IN BETWEEN.

Soylent Green Corporations are people. People have rights. Like the right to royally piss off a large segment of the population which believes same sex marriage is a civil rights issue rather than a religious issue. When I hear someone say, “I think we are inviting God’s judgement on our nation when we shake our fist at Him and say ‘we know better than you as to what constitutes a marriage’ and I pray God’s mercy on our generation that has such a prideful, arrogant attitude to think that we have the audacity to define what marriage is about,” it’s no different to me than saying that in the context of a discussion about black people marrying. It is purely a civil rights issue to me. I understand not everyone feels that way, and I DO believe that simply because you do not believe gay people should enjoy the same civil rights you do, doesn’t necessarily mean you hate gay people. That’s too easy. I think you are wrong, but I don’t make the leap that you hate. You may disagree with me, and I think I get where you’re coming from.

But people, THIS IS LUNCH. If you don’t want your money contributing to whatever farkakte charity a particular business supports, don’t eat there. If you do, eat there every day. THEN MOVE ON. If you live in Memphis and want to do something meaningful and political, then vote tomorrow. It’s free, it works, and it does not generally give you gas. But exchanging money for a hand spun peach shake does not make you political. It makes you a consumer. If you want to stand on line for two hours for some waffle fries, be my guest. But don’t expect it to change the world or save you a seat in heaven.

Look, eat mor chikn, don’t eat chicken, eat at KFC in protest, only eat fruit which has naturally fallen from the tree. I don’t care. If you’re looking to make a political statement with your food, I’d like to recommend you do so by supporting some of the many local restaurants across this great nation. Those of us who derive income from local restaurants appreciate your support.


3 Comments Add yours

  1. You taught me a new word! Cool.

    1. Susan says:

      WHAT? You didn’t know the word cool? The more you know…

      1. Word placement is everything.

Just spit it out, already!

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