I Won’t Weasel Out Of Telling This Story

15 Jul

i dreamed i clocked a badgerSo, here’s the thing. I punched a badger.

I have a nasty bruise, a major knot, but nothing broken. I know nothing is broken because I had an appointment with my orthopedist about my other hand. I have arthritis. I’m a hip, happening young gal like that. I asked him if he’d just take a look. He told me while it was the worst case of badger abuse he’d ever seen, nothing was broken.

Thing is? The badger didn’t exist. I had a dream this badger was following me around the backyard of the house I grew up in. It wouldn’t go away. Obviously, it gave not one shit that it was annoying me. Finally, I was all look. This has to stop. I’ve got things to do. He reared up on his hind legs, and I clocked him one. But I actually punched. Like in real life. I knocked out the headboard. FORTUNATELY, The Chuck had already gotten up. That would have been a fun shiner to explain: “Uh, yeah, my wife thought I was a badger…well, she was asleep…right hook…no, I don’t think her footwork was that great because SHE WAS ASLEEP…yes, she has an excellent therapeutic team, thank you.”

I have run in my sleep several times–nearly rendering my honey a soprano. I’ve yelled for help, for The Chuck, for quiet, and once I woke up saying, “I’d have thought that would have been printed on there.” I routinely flail and often have to apologize to my bed-mate for smacking him one. I thought the badger was a new thing, but according to The Chuck and The Girl I had dreamed about badgers before. You may have a recurring dream about showing up for the first day of school naked, I have a recurring dream about a member of the weasel family that is the main source of trichinosis outbreaks in the Alti region of Russia.

Also? Not for nothing, but it’s kind of hard to find a country that rhymes with “badger”.

 

 

 

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3 Responses to “I Won’t Weasel Out Of Telling This Story”

  1. desicubs July 17, 2013 at 12:44 am #

    I’m not sure Chuck can even get store credit or you at this point…

    • desicubs July 17, 2013 at 12:44 am #

      *for* you…

    • Susan July 18, 2013 at 1:18 pm #

      True. It’s been more than 180 days. I’m out of the system now.

Just spit it out, already!

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