Wardrobe Malfunctions

I recently uttered a sentence I never, never, never thought I would say: I need a sewing machine. I don’t quilt, crochet, or knit. I tried rug hooking once, but couldn’t get the hook dislodged from the wall after I threw it. I have, it is true, been known to cross stitch, but not with…

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Reality Vs. Fantasy: Living Room Edition

I have to paint the living room and dining room. I’m having a hard time choosing a color. I probably wouldn’t have such a hard time if my living room had any style to it. Our house is full of old stuff. Mostly in a good way. There’s a table from my grandmother’s house; a…

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Reality Vs. Fantasy: Grocery List Edition

What happens to me when I go to the grocery? Here’s what I think: Pressurization. Work with me. I walk into that vestibule area where the carts are kept, right? The doors close behind me. The doors into the grocery proper are also closed. This causes some kind of pressurization force that sucks out my…

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